According to the journal Emerging Infectious Diseases8% of the world’s population lives with autoimmune diseases. Of that 8%, 78% are women.
Much research has been done to determine exactly why women are so prone to developing such diseases. Of course, scientists and doctors have many theories. One thing they don’t often address, however, is trauma.
A trauma expert explained that women who develop autoimmune diseases typically have four traits in common.
Dr. Gabor Mate is a trauma expert. His book ‘The myth of normal,” discusses how trauma affects our bodies and minds. He recently joined The Mel Robbins Podcast to discuss the topic.
Maté explained that autoimmune diseases are “diseases in which the immune system attacks the body it is supposed to protect.” He claimed that these diseases in women are all related to the stress the body puts on. He then revealed four common characteristics of women who develop these diseases.
1. They put the emotional needs of others before their own.
Caring for others and practicing compassion is a good thing. However, sometimes it can be taken to an unhealthy extreme.
VeryWell Mind has classified this as a form of people pleasing. “While being kind and helpful is generally a good thing,” they wrote, “going too far to please others can leave you emotionally drained, stressed and anxious.”
Of course, it is nice to support others, especially when they are in need. But when women consistently put the needs of others before their own, they almost guarantee that they will burn out. It’s one of the fastest ways to experience stress, and as Maté noted, “stress undermines the immune system, which then turns against you.”
2. They identify strongly with duty, role and responsibility.
From an early age, many women are taught that they have a very specific role to play in society. They are to be the wives and mothers – the ultimate caregivers. Of course, that responsibility must come before their own needs.
“In today’s society, women’s roles often include family obligations, caring for children and/or elderly parents (statistically more likely to be a woman) and work responsibilities, as well as other roles,” noted the Cleveland Clinic.
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“As the demands to fulfill these roles increase, women may feel overwhelmed by time constraints and unfulfilled obligations,” they continued. “They may feel like they have failed because they cannot meet expectations for themselves and others. Often women spend more time meeting the needs of others than nurturing their own.”
This, as mentioned in the previous point, leads to stress. And from mental health issues like depression and anxiety to physical manifestations like headaches, heart problems, obesity and autoimmune diseases, the effects of this stress are undeniable.
3. They suppress healthy anger.
Dr. Maté argued that there is a societal pressure on women to be nice. Anger is not a “nice” emotion, nor is it very ladylike women are taught to suppress it and ignore it as much as possible.
Counselor Sarah Moore said this“Many women fear that the people in their lives will be turned off by their anger. Even if they have been abused, they can be nervous about expressing their emotions.”
Women have been taught over generations to suppress feelings of anger and not express it. This build-up again leads to stress.
4. They believe they are responsible for the feelings of others.
Dr. Maté said women often feel like they can “never let anyone down.” That’s a big responsibility, but it’s an accurate description.
Moore also discussed this point. She wrote that feeling responsible for the emotions of others is one of the reasons why women suppress their anger.
“If you’re like many women, you may feel like you’re responsible for controlling the emotions of others,” she said. “So you might fear that being honest about your anger will provoke a negative reaction from your husband, children, family members, or others in your social circle.” The need to make everyone else feel as positive as possible is yet another major stressor because it causes a person to ignore their own emotions.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and journalism, covering news, psychology, lifestyle and human interest topics.