DEAR DEIDRE: I can’t stand my sister’s husband and his money-grabbing ways.
My parents didn’t want to criticize publicly, but even they were visibly upset by his latest trick.
I’m 28, my husband is 30 and my sister is three years older than me.
We’ve all been invited to spend Christmas with them – which is a first.
At first I was looking forward to it, but then my mother said my brother-in-law had asked for £45 from each of us towards the costs.
Then another message came through saying they didn’t want any gifts exchanged for the adults and that the only gifts could be for the children.
They then suggested spending between £60 and £70 per child.
My husband and I have no children, but we do have two daughters!
So it looks like it will be a very expensive one.
It would be cheaper to go to a hotel or restaurant, at least then I wouldn’t have to spend the day with my stingy brother-in-law.
Mom is so upset and I don’t even want to go anymore.
The total bill for me and my husband to eat some of their cooked turkey will be around £230!
We don’t have that much money, and even if we did, his demands would still upset me.
How do I talk to my sister about how excessive her husband’s demands are?
DEIDRE SAYS: I recommend that you talk to your sister and let her know that you would really like to contribute and that it would be better to bring, for example, the Christmas cake, pudding or wine.
Try to make it a conversation to avoid conflict. You can also suggest another current guide at the same time.
If you can’t come to an agreement that everyone is happy with, the best thing you can do is thank them for inviting them while explaining that you can’t have a Christmas you can’t afford.
The day shouldn’t be dictated by one person and my Standing Up for Yourself support package will help you get your point across while avoiding consequences.
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