It won’t be long now. Soon all the shopping will be done, the presents will be wrapped, the food will be prepared and, if you’re lucky, you might have a few minutes to sit down and relax in the coming weeks. If so – and I sincerely hope that it is – why not spend some time looking back and thinking about what you are grateful for?
People tend to think that the end of the year is about looking ahead: resolutions, change, a new start. Why look back? I’m often amazed at how many people say, “I’ll be happy when the year is over” – as if it’s something to turn away from and stop thinking about.
Of course, some will have had a tough year. There will have been setbacks, setbacks and perhaps even tragedies. But for most there will have been good things too. For example, even if someone has had a very difficult time with a bereavement, there will also be some positive, heart-warming or life-affirming moments – perhaps the way friends rallied around you or a partner supported you.
If we focus only on the future, are determined to look ahead and put difficult experiences behind us, we risk missing these little gems.
By consigning the entire year to the dustbin of life as an annus horribilis, we don’t see the glimmers of goodness that were probably there.
The strength of our memories is usually closely related to the strength of the feelings associated with them, especially in the case of negative emotions. This means that we remember things that provoked strong reactions much more vividly than others. It is very normal for a few disturbing events to dominate our memory of a year, while the lesser but pleasant things fade or are forgotten.
That’s why I always recommend keeping a diary. We often forget all the moments of fun and joy we had, despite everything else that could have happened. I’m not talking about a Bridget Jones-style diary with endless entries covering all your thoughts and concerns. It’s actually enough to have an old-fashioned diary or calendar with a record of the things you did, where you went, the people you saw.
If you don’t have a physical diary, perhaps you keep notes about your social engagements in your phone calendar? If so, I highly recommend you spend a few hours between Christmas and New Year’s reading and remember everything you’ve done.
People tend to think that the end of the year is about looking ahead: resolutions, change, a new start, writes Dr. Max.
You will be surprised how many fun, interesting and enjoyable things you did last year and simply forgot about.
The reality is that if we don’t think, we can’t be grateful.
Finding the good things in the rubble of life is often not easy. Sometimes you have to force yourself to recognize them – and say thank you.
Psychologists call it ‘gratitude therapy’ and it helps you focus on the positive aspects of your life. It stems from a branch of psychotherapy called ‘positive psychology’, which has become increasingly popular in recent years.
It’s quite a shift from traditional psychotherapeutic approaches, which often focus on the problems a person has in their life. Positive psychology, on the other hand, places the focus of the work on examining what is going well in a person’s life and thinking about the things he or she can be grateful for.
It is an important weapon in the arsenal to tackle life’s difficulties. Numerous studies have shown a robust link between high levels of gratitude and long-term mental well-being.
It is thought to work on several levels. By focusing on the positive, we reduce toxic emotions such as anger, frustration, envy and regret.
Research has shown that saying “thank you” to the people in your life strengthens friendships and forms new relationships, meaning people have better social networks. This in turn helps prevent loneliness and improve mood. It also helps to improve empathy and reduce interpersonal conflict.
Showing gratitude for someone who made an impact (no matter how small) in your life this past year doesn’t have to mean giving them a lavish gift. Often something as simple as a phone call to wish them a Merry Christmas or a Christmas card with a thoughtful message written on it is enough.
It shows that you have thought of them, that you remember and appreciate them. We all know how good it feels to be on the receiving end of that.
And it’s not just something you can do during the short break at the end of the year. Proponents of gratitude therapy recommend that people make a conscious decision to set aside a block of time each day—for example, 15 minutes—where you think about the positive things in your life. The key is to really think about everything you are grateful for. That’s why it’s recommended that you actually write it down, rather than just scrolling through a list in your head. The act of putting pen to paper provides a physical, tangible focus.
It is also very helpful if you notice that you have an overwhelming negative emotion or thought. Take out your list and remind yourself that not everything in life is bad – even if it sometimes feels like it. I hope you find many things to be grateful for this season.
This Christmas I enjoyed my favorite festive films. It’s A Wonderful Life is one of them – it’s very profound. My other favorite is Christmas Carol by The Muppets. It never fails to raise a smile. And isn’t that what life is all about?
It’s okay to take time out this week
Lily Allen at the Giorgio Armani Spring 2025 fashion show in New York in October
Lily Allen admitted this week that she’s “not in a great place mentally.” While no one knows why the singer, who is married to Stranger Things actor David Harbour, is having a hard time (there is speculation that their marriage is in trouble), many will sympathize with her.
Christmas should be a time of joy, but it can also exacerbate existing problems. The pressure for the festive period to be ‘perfect’ is enormous and it can often be a great effort to ‘put on a happy face’ and pretend that everything is fine.
Remember that it is important, and okay, to get out of your obligations when necessary. Make sure you have time for yourself as an act of self-care and try to spend time with loved ones who have your best interests at heart.
But fear not: Taking 7,000 steps daily can reduce the risk of depression, a study suggests. Exercise is known to improve mental health, but this is the first study to examine the benefit of step counting and find a link between the two. Rest assured if you only reach 7,000, your mental health will still benefit.
There is new evidence that between 25 and 45 percent of Alzheimer’s disease may be caused by a herpes virus called cytomegalovirus. Most of us are exposed in the first few decades. Usually it lives harmlessly in the intestines, but scientists believe the virus can stick to the brain in an active state.
Dr. Max prescribes… 7,000 steps
For most of us, reaching the magical 10,000 steps is difficult.
But fear not: Taking 7,000 steps daily can reduce the risk of depression, a study suggests. Exercise is known to improve mental health, but this is the first study to examine the benefit of step counting and find a link between the two. Rest assured if you only reach 7,000, your mental health will still benefit.