S – Set realistic expectations
The ‘perfect Christmas’ is unattainable, fueled by movies, social media and our high expectations. Trying to create a fantasy Christmas compared to a ‘real’ Christmas can lead to unnecessary stress and disappointment. Instead, focus on what really matters: connection, kindness, and shared experiences. This can be done by:
- Prepare one special meal or treat instead of an extensive spread.
- Choose simple, heartfelt gifts, such as homemade gifts, or experience-based gifts, such as a family game night. Op stores are great for finding little treats.
- Not everything has to be resolved or perfect when disagreements arise. Sometimes accepting imperfections in others and ourselves can ease tension.
A – Arrange a family schedule
For families, Christmas often disrupts normal routines. Children are out of school, parents may be balancing work and festive duties, and everyone’s sleep schedule may be thrown into disarray. Creating a predictable holiday schedule, with proper rest, nutrition and activity, can help maintain stability and reduce stress.
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Consider including the following:
- Morning exercise: Start the day with shared activities such as a family breakfast or a walk.
- Daily quiet time: Involve children by giving them age-appropriate jobs. Provide periods of rest or independent play to avoid overstimulation and give you time to complete adult tasks.
- Evening relaxation: Stick to regular bedtime routines, such as a warm bath, reading a story, or reflecting on the day’s highlights. This ensures that everyone gets enough rest.
N – Navigate stress with chill-out techniques
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Quick and effective stress management techniques are invaluable when holiday pressures increase. These are quick, accessible ways to calm your nervous system, reset your focus, and ground yourself in the present.
A simple but effective technique is 478 breathing:
- Sit or stand comfortably and place your hand on your stomach.
- Breathe deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, expand your abdomen and hold for 7 seconds.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for eight counts. Repeat this for a minute or two if you feel overwhelmed.
Another technique of the moment is progressive muscle relaxation. Concentrate, then contract and release muscle groups to relieve physical tension.
T – Take back the time and set boundaries
By recognizing your limits and feeling comfortable saying “no,” you can avoid taking on too much. Healthy boundaries are a form of self-care, and managing your energy gives you more to give to the moments that really matter.
- Politely decline events that do not align with your energy levels or values.
- Set limits on spending, such as agreeing on gift limits.
- Practice assertive communication with statements such as, “I would like to help, but I can’t right now.”
A – Give yourself time
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The Christmas season is often about giving, but taking care of yourself is also crucial. Scheduling short “you” breaks can recharge your energy. Remember that self-care is not selfish.
- Take a conscious walk in nature, the forest, the beach or the backyard.
- Remember to eat healthy foods and take rest days without drinking.
- Spend 10 minutes writing down your frustrations, thinking about what you’re grateful for, or making plans for the days ahead.
- Listen to your favorite music, podcast or read to recharge instead of device time.
By prioritizing your well-being, you also set an example to others about the importance of self-care.
Dr. Chris Garrod is a clinical psychologist and clinical leader of Navigate Psychology. Dr. Garrod has previously worked for the Ministry of Education as a practice advisor for Te Kahu Toi: Intensive Wraparound Service and now works as a clinical psychologist at Forensic Services in Te Whatu Ora: Health NZ, and is also previously a clinical lead.
Lucy Klein is a beauty and lifestyle columnist for the Herald. She has spent the last 17 years working in print and digital publishing in New Zealand and Australia, across a range of well-known fashion, beauty, entertainment, food and home titles. She regularly shares advice for parents, including the best ones child-friendly sunscreenswhy all the children should use gentle bath products And parenting lessons learned firsthand.