On a beautiful fall day, with the sun shining through the leaves as they painted the world orange, I sat outside and felt lonely. The grass beneath my fingertips was my only companion as disgustingly happy couples surrounded me.
I’ve noticed that as the days get shorter and the sun says goodnight sooner, it’s easy to feel like everything is falling apart except you. The temperature drops, leaves fall from branches and people fall in love. Suddenly everyone around you is enjoying the foliage, holding hands and looking at each other heartbreakingly as you bundle up to stay warm. It becomes a reminder of what you don’t have, rather than an appreciation for all the things you do; a fairy tale that you are not part of, it is too good to be true. But I’m here to tell you that you can fall in love too. You can fall in love tomorrow, it can even be today.
Because love at first sight is real – I’ve experienced it twice.
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
The first time I fell in love, I was eighteen, about to go to college, and completely unprepared. My parents and I had been wandering around Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts for hours, when out of the blue it happened. One moment I was doing well and the next moment I was firmly, unequivocally and wholeheartedly in love. Hanging proudly across the room from where I stood frozen was one of them Monets Water lilies with its dreamy combination of blue, purple, green and pink. It was like nothing I had ever seen before, not because it was earth-shattering, but because it spoke to me. That day I found love in that painting. It was in the valleys between rising ridges of paint, between the swirling blues and in every pink stripe on those petals. It was the ghost that Monet’s brush had left behind, hanging there forever, as if waiting for me to stumble on.
Two years later it happened again. It was summer in Maine and I didn’t expect to cry at the Portland Art Museumbut Monet had done it again. One moment I was jumping from painting to painting and the next I was lying on the riverbed The Seine at Vétheuil. I saw myself in the languid reflections of the water, in the lasting impression of a scene that only Monet could see. The clouds felt like the sky and I was in a dream. I stood there for several minutes as my cheeks began to ache and silent drops slipped from my eyes. I just couldn’t tear myself away. The painting had strong gravity and I was more than happy to stay in orbit forever. I had taken one look at the canvas and had fallen hard.
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
The thing about love is that most people spend a lot of their lives thinking it’s only about romance. We watch movies and read books that evoke love stories for all ages, so when it’s not happening in your life, it can be easy to feel like you’re the problem. And then the fall rolls along and it’s like everyone else is catching up while you’re left behind. I’m guilty of it too, and often imagine that I’m half in love with a boy who smiles at me when we pass each other on the way to class. It’s easy to idealize romantic relationships when you’re longing for connection, so we often forget that there’s so much more to love than a romantic partner.
Leader board 2
If you are willing to look, you will see that love exists everywhere.
Once you free yourself from the idea that love is just fireworks and kissing and dancing in the rain, it becomes easy to understand why the Impressionists painted the way they did: they looked at their world and found love in it. 150 years ago they were just a group of artists trying to redefine art their own exhibition. They ventured outside the traditional studio and painted what life was like them regardless of what artistic conventions required. They captured the light and its reflections with small brushstrokes and delicate color palettes, not with the intention of reproducing reality, but rather just to create an impression of its colors.
Monet found beauty in a river and a pond; A century and a half later, I stumbled into a museum, took one look at his impressions and fell in love. It turned out that I didn’t need another person to experience that joy, because love isn’t just one thing. It can simmer for years or strike like lightning. It could be romance, friendship, sports or art. It’s in every phone call from your mother and in the way you laugh with your friends. In your favorite song or a warm home-cooked meal. I fall in love with the way words weave around each other, how the sun glints between the clouds just right and the occasional Monet.
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There is no An way to love.
So use the courage of the impressionist as an example and strive to find the things that make an impression your world. Find the light that speaks to your heart and fall in love with it. Fall in love with the moon and the stars. With the way you dance alone in your room and the soft rustling of leaves. Free falling, falling often. Because you never know when you’ll turn the corner and find the next love of your life.
Rafaella González is one junior at the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at (email protected).